CLEAN JOKES CONSOLATION

An Irish officer had the misfortune to be dreadfully wounded in one of the late battles in Holland. As he lay on the ground, an unlucky soldier, who was near him, and was also severely wounded, made a terrible howling, when the officer exclaimed, "What do you make such a noise for? Do you think there is nobody killed but yourself?"

CLEAN JOKES SEVERAL NEGATIVES

"Mister, I say, I don't suppose you don't know of nobody who don't want to hire nobody to do nothing, don't you?" "Yes, I don't."

CLEAN JOKES DIFFERENT LINES

A person arrived from a voyage to the East Indies inquired of a friend after their mutual acquaintance, and, among the rest, one who had the misfortune to be hanged during his absence:

"How is Tom Moody?"

"He is dead."

"He was in the grocery line when I left this."

"He was in quite a different line when he died."

CLEAN JOKES NEGRO WIT

A Jamaica planter, with a nose as fiery and rubicund as that of the illuminating Bardolph, was taking his siesta after dinner, when a mosquito lighting on his proboscis, instantly flew back. "Aha! massa mosquito," cried Quacco, who was in attendance, "you burn your foot!"

CLEAN JOKES THEATRICAL BON-MOT

In a very thin house in the country, an actress spoke very low in her communication with her lover. The actor, whose benefit it happened to be, exclaimed with a face of woeful humor, "My dear, you may speak out, there is nobody to hear us."

CLEAN JOKES CONCISENESS

Louis XIV. traveling, met a priest riding post. Ordering him to stop, he asked hastily, "Whence? whither? for what?" He answered, "Bruges—Paris—a benefice." "You shall have it."

CLEAN JOKES ALLIES WILL FALL OUT

A gentleman having to fight a main in the country, gave charge to his servant to carry down two cocks. Pat put them together in a bag; on opening which, at his arrival, he was surprised to find one of them dead, and the other terribly wounded. Being rebuked by his master for putting them in the same bag, he said he thought there was no danger of them hurting each other, as they were going to fight on the same side.